Obscure Sports Quarterly Feature Article

I have heard from reliable sources (I'm pretty sure this is just a rumor you're starting, Ed.) that there's going to be a feature article about our rise to curling glory and the subsequent heart-crushing fall from grace in an upcoming issue of Obscure Sports Quarterly. Give it a look. If the name isn't indication enough, they say it right on their home page. "This is different than the 5,384 sports blogs on the Internet. Somehow". I'm sure our story will somehow be different than the other 5,384 "sports teams that fell apart" stories too.

Stone Heads

Something about people in the Northern US makes them like to put strange things on their heads when going to sporting events. First it was cheese heads for the Green Bay Packers. Now it's Stone Heads?! Get your own curling hat. Support your local group. I guess face painters will be next. A little CraZy, but maybe the spectator scene is picking up.

Owen Screws It Up for Everyone

It looks like our movie opportunity has been dealt its final blow. Owen Wilson was one of the key "producers" (what they hell does a producer do anyway?) tied to the project, and with his latest "instability" the financial backers have pulled out of anything he was associated with.

I'm sure it's tough being rich, and famous, and living in a BIG house in the Hollywood hills, with lots of chicks, and dope, and weekly invites to the Playboy Mansion. It's probably difficult to accept your own good fortune, when kids in China can't afford a set of curling stones. But why screw it up for all of us? I know it had been a couple weeks since Kate Hudson called, and listening to the Black Crowes makes you think of her getting back with her ex. I know you needed a little public exposure so others could feel your pain. It's no laughing matter, but how could you be so self-centered? A lot of other people's dreams were counting on you. Couldn't you have just got caught in a bathroom with a male escort or something? Don't you think a suicide attempt was a little over the top? Arrogant Hollyweird bastard.

Curler Turned Model

Now that's what I call a crossover. Hot Swiss curler Carmen Schäfer turns into scary fashion model. We can only hope that she's started snorting coke and dating a musician from Oasis, Hives, Vines, or one of those other forgettable British rock bands. Gotta be good for business. Check out the Carmen Schäfer story here. It's in Swiss, but who cares. You weren't really going to read the text anyway.

Grab My Peri-Peri

A South African curling team ("a" as in the only South African curling team) called the Sub-Zero Sweepers are trying to make their own run at the Olympics. I smell another crappy Disney movie like Cool Runnings. Are these guys for real? Judge for yourself, but I think this has got to be one of those guerrilla marketing campaigns or something. I mean, this person doesn't even look like they have anything to grab. And what the hells is a Nando's or "peri-peri" chicken?!

Curling Podcast

I just found out that this guy Dean Gemmell, has put together a regular podcast called The Curling Show. Somehow I don't see a lot of the hip kids down at the Apple store doing the Silhouetted shadow-people dance to the latest interview with curling legends of yesteryear.

Anyhow. Don't mean to sound down on it. Guy loves curling. Not a lot happening in New Jersey now that everyone knows that The Sopranos was just a TV show. More power to Dean for using technology to get the word out to the world. A legitimate, regular news source could be a good thing. Maybe Steve Jobs is a closet curler.

Tiny Balls

Word in Hollyweird is that a new movie, about a table-tennis prodigy, called Balls of Fury is in the works. If this does well, it could help reignite interest in a whole genre of emerging sports films. I guess if you can consider something that's been an Olymic sports since 1924 "emerging". Better a comedy than another Brian's Song. Great movie, but there's no money in sob stories dramatic biographies. (He was a hero, Ed.)

Bikini Curling

I think this advert lacks in execution, but they're headed in the right direction for breaking through to the mainstream. Keep it short. Try a little humor. Oh, and add girls with bikini's. It works for selling beer, and it won't hurt curling.

They shouldn't stop with TV ads either. These girls aren't half bad looking. Certainly a step above women's basketball. Get these girls to have their curling matches in bikini's. Cold ice. Hot Girls. Constant high beams. I know the Lingerie Bowl seemed like a fad, but it got a lot of eyeballs. When was the last time you heard "curling" mentioned on Leno?